Today, I’m attending a volunteer recognition
luncheon, which I almost declined. As I get ready to head into New York City, I’m experiencing tremendous feelings of
awkwardness about being recognized for volunteering. Why on earth should I be recognized? I’m just doing what’s
right. I really wanted to decline, but I pushed myself to accept the invitation, because I’d like to meet and learn
about the other volunteers.
I’m often asked how do I have time to volunteer with everything else
going on in my busy life. For me, it’s simple. My parents and grandparents taught me that giving back was the right
thing to do. My community also impressed me by its actions, illustrating that helping those in need must always be a priority.
Of course, I have the added benefit of being a career and life coach, who understands the importance of living a well-balanced
life and has the tools to achieve it. I know I’ll make the time to do what’s important to me. I know I’ll
figure out how to make it work with my other priorities and needs.
It’s not easy at times. I juggle
a very full schedule, so I plan my volunteer activities with the rest of my busy life. I also give myself blackout dates and
adjust the schedule during busy and slow seasons.
If you’ve reached the big 4 – 0 and
beyond, like me, you have a lot to share and can make a difference in so many ways. There are more opportunities today to
get involved and give back then you could probably imagine. You can even volunteer from your own home at any time of day or
night.
People give back for different reasons — answering a call by a higher authority, seeking justice,
feeling good about helping others, fulfilling a religious obligation, meeting people who share their passion, or just thinking
it’s the right thing to do.
If you’re interested in finding a meaningful way to make a difference,
touch base with organizations that focus on what’s important to you. If you’d like suggestions on where to start
your search, send me a note at lisa-michelle@the40factor.com.
If you’re already volunteering or giving back in any
way — whatever the reason — thank you!
Share what's on your mind and see what others have to say using the Comments link. No sign up necessary.
Lots of people who've reached the big 4 - 0 and beyond are dating, whether they never stopped
or now find themselves back in the game.
What's that like? Well . . . Let's just say it has mixed
reviews, but I mostly hear from men and women over 40 that trying to meet someone new and the initial dating stage is the
pits.
What is it about later-in-life dating that's so frustrating? Why doesn't it become easier?
My opinion: People have forgotten — or never knew — how to date.
So,
as I dive back into the dating pool, I thought I'd remind myself about some sensible advice and share it with you, too.
10 Tips For Dating After 40
1)
Define Your Dating Purpose
At first, this may sound funny (ok, ridiculous to some), but knowing why you're
dating is the most important step. People date for different reasons. There's a wide spectrum of daters, from soul mate seekers
to hookup artists to cheaters to swingers and more.
2) Know Yourself
Get
in touch with your foundation. Who are you? What's important to you? What are your likes and dislikes? You don't have to have
a complete blueprint, but it's helpful to have a good understanding of what makes you tick and what ticks you off.
3) Be Honest
Whatever your dating purpose, be honest with yourself, potential dates,
those setting you up, and people you're dating. I hate when I hear or read advice that encourages dating dishonesty. That
may get you in the game, but it's a sure way to have it come to an abrupt end. If you feel the need to trick someone, then
the situation just doesn't fit. Move on.
4) Be Upfront
I'm not advocating
presenting financial statements, talking about your most recent breakup, or disclosing what you did on spring break, but communicate
what's important to you and mention deal-breakers upfront. No need to waste anyone's time, especially yours.
5) Go Where The Fish Are
Admittedly, this is my biggest challenge. I don’t want
to attend singles events, weekends, cruises, etc. I still romanticize the chance encounter with my very own prince charming
and being swept off my feet, but I won’t be invited to a royal ball any time soon. I also know I can’t meet someone
by sitting home alone on my couch, so I, too, need to find the fish. There are lots of ways to meet people, so find ones you’re
comfortable with and get out there.
Caution: Don’t
force yourself to engage in activities that don’t suit you. If speed dating will make you break out in hives and vomit
on the facilitator, stay away. Try a hiking group, volunteer function, cooking class, book club, or something you enjoy instead.
6) Go For It
When you've gotten this far, give it your all. You're in the batter's
box, so be ready to hit it out of the park. If you're avoiding conversations or dates, then something's off. Maybe you're
not interested in the person or your intuition is sending you a message that something isn't right.
7)
Act — And Dress — Your Age
No one expects you to look like grandpa in his rocking
chair, but don’t dress like it’s your first day of high school. Whether you’re going on a blind date, speed
dating, or stopping by the local pub, dress to impress — but appropriately.
8)
Have Fun
If whatever you’re doing is making you miserable, stop. There are many ways to date, and
we can choose what’s fun and skip the rest. It’s ok to let others know what works for you and, more importantly,
what doesn’t. We’ve reached the big 4 – 0 and beyond, earning the right to enjoy ourselves — even
while dating!
9) Assess
There’s no point in continuing to date
someone who doesn’t fit your dating purpose or isn't right for you. Even if you're having fun with the person, take
a step back every now and then to ask yourself if you're on the right track.
10) Stay Away
From Reruns
When it comes to television shows, if you don't like it the first time, you won't watch it
again. Use the same approach when dating. It's easy to say yes to a no when you're bored or feeling less than positive.
Forget it. Dating a dud doesn't get better the second time around.
I hope these tips are
helpful, and I'd love to hear yours. Share your success stories, dating tips, and funny experiences using the Comments link below.
Good luck, and
have fun!
This week, I noticed there were a lot of people on Twitter posting messages about their childhood — using
the hashtag #wheniwasakid. At first, I didn’t take much interest in the comments, but then
Ryan Seacrest’s caught my eye:
#wheniwasakid i would record songs onto cassette tapes and play them back pretending to be Casey Kasem on @americantop40.
Wow! It’s pretty neat how he has those memories and now lives out his childhood
dreams. Personally, I think he works too much, but that’s a topic for another day. Sorry, Ryan.
I
started to think about so many childhood memories and thoughts. I immediately posted:
#wheniwasakid I wanted to marry a fireman or policeman.
I really did. It’s been
odd to me in my adult life that I remember this so well and even thought that as a child.
Of course,
after this first one was out there, my mind was bombarded with memories of when I was a kid . . .
. . . I thought
no aspect of the Jetsons’ lives would ever become reality.
. . . I loved playing pretend games, acting out Wonder
Woman, Charlie’s Angels, The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Laverne & Shirley, and so much more.
. . . I often
dreamed of living in my own little house on the prairie, back in the late 19th century.
. . . I wanted to travel to every
place in the world.
. . . I thought true equality — life without any discrimination and prejudice — was
around the corner.
. . . I taught myself to cook and bake by reading cookbooks, watching Julia Child on TV, and experimenting
on my family.
. . . I believed there would be peace in the Middle East (by the mid-80s).
. . . I thought life got
easier as one got older.
What I first thought was silly Twitter banter opened a door to a
fun trip down memory lane, as well as a bit of reflection of my childhood thoughts about the future.
So, how about you?
When you were a kid . . .
Share your childhood memories and see what others have to say using the Comments link. No sign up necessary.
